Like the time my mate and I got pulled over by the police for racing in our hotted up sports cars. He got a huge fine and I went to court and proved the policeman could not have seen clearly with the sun in his eyes. I represented myself, and cross examined the policeman. I was 20 years old and had been told my licence was lost. I had fight, and it was a great asset.
My wife and I lived hand to mouth. I started a car cleaning firm to pay our way straight through university. I'd gather cars from car dealers, drive them home, polish them until they looked new inside and out, and return them. I delivered pamphlets to letter boxes, contracted to clean building sites and sold a patent for air pollution control - never once during the whole four years of University - taking a job that wasn't fun and inviting to do. (even pamphlet delivery is hilarious practice if you do it right)
Western Hard Drive
This free spirit had no moral compass. What was right? What was wrong? It was in an era of experimentation - flower Power - and we lived the free life unburdened by the claustrophobia of "the system." Ecology became my passion in which I was 100% sure the world would never survive the bureaucracy and consumptive greed of the Western mind. I was wrong - it did survive - ugly as it may seem to some.
But now I needed a job. We bought a house, Moved cities, started integrating in society, dumping the beard, tee shirts and smiles for corporate compliance. With my moral compass pointing toward experimentation and discovery I became a compliant employee, I wanted a career, money and safety for our soon to arrive baby.
You can take the man out of nature, but you can't take the true nature out of a man and so, a dichotomy emerged. The life people, together with my wife wanted to hear me speak about, and the real one, my spirit of adventure.
At first, the disjunction was minor. I'd come home from work an hour late and lie that I'd been busy when in truth, I'd been down the pub with the boys from work doing what men at work seem to need to do in a weird bonding ritual sucking up to the boss, listening to bad jokes and telling good ones where possible.
The Buddha said something like "tell them what they want to hear until they're ready to hear what you want to tell them" - Jesus said something like "don't throw pearls before swine" and there's a whole swag of other wisdoms that basically advocate - lying is great than truth.
Stand in front of an audience and speak your truth. It becomes a cold dark place. Stand in front of the same audience and tell them the truth they want to be the truth, and the nods come rushing, the sun shines and habitancy want you back. "teach them the illusion until they are ready for the truth" is a paraphrased quote from an ancient wisdom.
And so, the gap in the middle of my truth and the truth I needed to tell habitancy in order to vocalize their acceptance, pay cheque, corporate review, and love became ever more elastic. For thirteen breathtaking years I juggled this ever widening rift, winning the approval of a family, the safety of client speculation and the love and affection of a wife.
The only glitch in this rather simple model of life, which, by the way, every human lives no matter how pious they fake their religious values to be, (in fact the more basic a person declares their morality - the greater their lie) - is that, you can't lie to people.
When habitancy want to be lied to, when they want to hear false truth, they block their receptors, blind their own eyes, plug their ears and turn the other cheek. But they still know you're lying even if they don't want to know. The human intuition is natural, organic, self-operating and it's the best lie detector on earth. The only way to dampen the signal is to fill the void that's required to listen to it, with Noise.
If there's no ambient Noise in our head, we are all psychic, incredibly intuitive and, basically impervious to lies. But with sufficient Noise, such natural talents are sabotaged. Noise like busy-ness, distractions, chatter, obsessions with Kids, tension, friends, parties, - in short - the more pre-occupied we are with the things that we call our priorities, the more likely it is that our intuitions and inspirations will pass us unnoticed. And for 99.9999% of the world's western population, that's no accident.
Sitting alone with Aboriginal habitancy in the outback of Australia taught me the value of emptiness. Playing in the sand, using my imagination was absolutely the first baby steps in meditation. Communicating with my out of body mother is the space that's silent sufficient to hear below the noise that fills the world. And dealing with violent alcoholic aggression created a deep relationship to the essence of me that can never be hurt. The skills that monks and shaman I have met spend a lifetime searching for, we Drilled into me by nature.... My bad luck was absolutely my blessing.
One day I read the quote "We are not human beings finding to have a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings finding to have a human experience." and that quote absolutely flipped things for me. My inner belief was supreme, my outer was fake.... I now understood why.
Noise fills the air - it triggers our mind, makes our blood rush, gives us appetites and most importantly, lets us hear what we want to hear until we are ready to listen.
Noise like depressions, stress, obsessions, children, worry, anxiety, hurt, pain, emotional uppers and downers. Noise helped in volume by alcohol, food, drugs, greed, sex and some form of mind numbing meditation.
When habitancy come to me for help, they have the momentum of a freight train. The noise all around them is violent, attached and fragile. They want it to stop, they want the quality of life that comes from calm and noiselessness but they do not want to hear the voices behind that noise, that's why it's there, to protect them from the truth they least want to know.
I fell out of love with my wife. I hated my boss. I felt overwhelmed in my sporting ambitions. I didn't feel good around certain habitancy who, in the social eye, were heroes. I felt awkward, and to deal with it, I turned up the volume.
There are four questions we need to rejoinder in order to quieten the mind:
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Where am I going?
Where did I come from?
The more noise we make, the more busy and achievement focussed we come to be the simpler those questions get answered. Why? Because there's a short term rejoinder which is easiest when we're busy and a long term rejoinder which is hard unless we're silent.
Take the first one..... Who am I? Well I'm busy.... And I'm Chris, so shut up and get on with it will you.
So, is Chris your body? If you have a heart transplant are you still Chris? Yes, now get back to it.
So, is what you own, know and feel Chris? It's a part of it, now piss off.
Then if I change what you own, know and feel I change you? No you don't now go away, I have things to do...
So, if you aren't what you own, know or feel, why are those things prominent to you? Cripes, will you get off my back....
Well?... Look I don't want to talk to you any-more....
Well? Ok, so I must be some worthless piece of dust hidden under this shroud of things that I own, know and feel.
Worthless? Well what damn value do I have if I don't have whatever to value?
You can Love? Uh oh here comes the new age....
You can be loved? Yeah, right, sitting on a bench, drinking meth from the bottle, with no home.... absolutely great life... But oh you're loved.... Forget it.
So, love means failure? No, but I don't want to be a monk.... Love and a robe is not sufficient to pay the mortgage...
Are there two you's - an inside and an covering you? Yes.
And which do you think is stronger? Sorry, the phone is ringing and I need to pick up the Kids from school. Can we get back to this someone else time, like in about 2,000,000 years?
Super Consciousness - Sex, Lies and Video Tapes - studying Life the Hard WayTags : Buy Shopping Discount 3100 LUMENS EPSON 58mm 045x SUPER WIDE Canon Canon 2711b054 Laser Printer
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